Dear Aidan - 9 months

A few years ago, I saw a post on a friend's blog that consisted of a letter she wrote to her daughters. Now that Aidan is here, I thought it might be a good idea to write a few letters to him over the years that he can one day look back on read - if he so chooses.

Aidan, 

I can't believe how quickly time has passed. I remember every second of your birth, I remember the first time I saw your handsome face, I remember the day we came home from the hospital...I remember everything (which is saying a lot because, baby, your momma has an awful memory!). Remembering every detail of your life doesn't make it slow down, though, and as we quickly approach your 1st birthday, I can't help but wonder where the time went. As I sit here watching you walk along the couch, a skill you learned only a few days ago, I feel such a mix of bittersweet emotions. You're growing up so fast, every day you learn something new and I know that it won't be long before you're walking and talking and off to school.

As you grow, I pray that you will always want to be "mommy's little boy" and that you will never hesitate to come to me, whether it be a skinned knee or a broken heart. You are my baby, and I love you will every ounce of my being. I will never judge you and I will never turn you away. Never be afraid to come to me, my sweet, sweet boy. I promise you that I will always be your mom first, and your friend second, but either way and no matter the circumstance, I will always be here for you and I will always love you. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little blonde haired, blue-eyed boy.


I pray that your dad and I will always make the best decisions in raising you. We aren't perfect, and I know that we will make mistakes, but you are the one area of our lives where mistakes are not an option. Every day, I love at your big blue eyes and your big, bright smile and want to be a better person, both for myself and for you. You have changed our lives and you have such an impact on the choices that we make on a day-to-day basis. Everything we do is for you and every decision we make is with you in mind.

Never be ashamed of who you are or where you want to go in life. I promise that your dad and I will support you no matter what. When it comes time to decide your future, we will support you whether you want to be a rock star or a rocket scientist. We will always give you the choice to make your own decisions. You're 9 months old and I cannot believe how smart you are. Your future will hold no limitations, you will have every opportunity to be whatever you want to be.

When I was pregnant with you, I often worried about whether or not I would be a good mom. I worried that I would make the wrong decisions on your behalf and that I would somehow mess up your life. When you were born, every fear I ever harnessed just disappeared. I know that I am the best mom that I can be for you. I know that regardless of the decision that I make, your best interest in my biggest concern, and you will love me no matter what. I know that on any given day, I would give up everything in this world just to see you smile and know that you are happy. I know that even on my worst day, you will still look up at me with your big blue eyes and smile at me, making everything okay again. 

You are a blessing, Aidan. God could not have given your father and I a better gift. I am a better person because of you and I live my life to higher standards because I want to be better for you. I pray that you will always know that my love for you is unconditional and that if you ever doubt anything, it will never be how much I love you. You are truly amazing sweetheart and I look forward to each day that I get to watch you grow and change. 

I love you,

Mom

Thank you, God.

Thank you, God, for every blessing in my life. I don't know what I did to deserve such a life, but I am so beyond thankful. I wake up every morning to a husband who loves me unconditionally, who never questions my motives, my thought process, or my neurotic, OCD quirks. He loves me for me, which makes me love him even more. I married my best friend, which most people will never be able to say or do. And what's more, I married a man who could not possibly be a better father to our beautiful, wonderful, amazing little boy. I walked in the door last night to find them both sitting on couch, squished together, and Mike feeding Aidan some puffs. Aidan can feed himself, but he likes Mike to feed him the puffs so his hands are free to play with whatever toy he has interest in at the moment. Every day, I think to myself, "I couldn't possibly love him more than I do right now..." And every day, I prove myself wrong.

Thank you, God, for my wonderful, perfect, sweet baby boy. As I write this, I'm watching him take a toy over to Roxy, so that they can play together. He's 9 months old...who does that at 9 months old?? My baby sure does! I really don't know what I did to deserve to be this blissfully happy, but if I ever find out, I'll do it time and time again because I am truly blessed in this life that I live. From the second that we found out we were pregnant, Aidan changed our lives for the better. You learn so much when you have a baby. Aidan has taught me to be thankful for every day that comes and goes because with each day, I get to spend time with him. He has taught me to love unconditionally, and he's taught me a completely new kind of love. The love you have for you child is unlike any kind of love I could ever explain...it's just different. He's taught me patience and he makes me want to be a better person, not just for myself, but for him. I look at him and can't remember a second of my life before he was here.

I have so much to be thankful for, and sometimes its easy to forget just how blessed I truly am. I could write for days about everything I have to be thankful for: my wonderful family, my handful of amazing friends, our jobs, our dogs...the list goes on. I hope that one day, I'll get a post on here about every thing I have to be thankful for in life, as I'm sure that list will only grow larger, but, for now, I'm going back to playing with my baby boy and hoping that, one day, I'll get the hang of writing in this blog more often.